


im making a callout post

by garyc0re



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Comedy, F/F, Fluff, Funny, Implied Sexual Content, Light-Hearted, M/M, Movie Night, No Angst, No Smut, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:22:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25239184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garyc0re/pseuds/garyc0re
Summary: TG: hahahhahaha oh my god this is goldTG: hahaha okay okay okay okay i think im good hahaha oh my god no im notTG: im making a callout post
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, John Egbert/Vriska Serket, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam
Kudos: 46





	im making a callout post

**Author's Note:**

> june isnt deadnamed here ;)

[video has been paused]  
  
TG: hahaha oh my god what loser has to suck a banana in order to understand how dicks work  
TG: i mean cmon man didnt he at least take sex ed  
TG: that shit is gold  
TT: What's wrong with practicing on a banana?  
TG: omg rose tell me you did not practice on a god damn banana i will lose my mind  
GA: Why Would Rose Have To Practice Dick Sucking Skills  
GA: It Is Already Known That She Is A Girl Liker  
TT: No, of course I didn't practice on a banana.  
TT: June did.  
TG: hahaha WHAT  
GA: Oh My God  
TG: youre joking  
TT: No.  
TT: It was before she came out. We had dared her to do it.  
TG: why wasnt i told about this, its literally comedy gold  
TT: She didn't want to be laughed at by anybody.  
TT: ...  
TT: Like you.  
TG: oh fuck  
CG: BUT...  
CG: IT ISN'T ANYTHING FOR HER TO BE ASHAMED BY, HONEST.  
TG: its just like a little weird yknow  
TG: to like  
TG: have to practice on a banana  
TG: haha oh my god i cant believe june of all people would ever do that  
TG: june "im not into men" egbert  
TT: Yes, well, that's why I didn't necessarily want to tell either of you.  
TT: It isn't my fault that the three of us had such an amazing experience.  
CG: THREE OF YOU?  
TT: Jade was there, of course.  
TG: jade was there?  
TG: holy fuck im so confused  
TT: Yes, Dave.  
TG: what the hell  
TG: @ectoBiologist @gardenGnostic can you mfers get online and explain this shit  
TG: pls  
GA: Oh No  
GA: Do We Have To Do This I Was Genuinely Enjoying Watching Funny Videos Cant We Go Back To That  
TT: Wait.  
TT: Don't ping them.  
TG: too late  
EB: eh?  
EB: oh what the hell  
TG: june rose just told me that you deepthroated a banana  
TG: is she deadass?  
EB: rose????????  
TT: I'm sorry!!  
TT: We saw a video with a guy doing it and he asked!   
GA: Oh My God  
GG: is everything okay? i rarely get pinged here...  
TG: explain how june deepthroated a banana  
TG: now  
CG: UVGFHFHNVGGJGGMGMV  
TT: Fine.  
TT: God, you are insuffrable, Strider.  
TG: you love me tho  
TT: Yes, I suppose I do.  
EB: what no dont tell him rose!! you promised  
TT: He isn't going to shut up about it until we do.  
EB: bluuuuuhh  
EB: fine  
EB: but if he makes fun of me im going to lose it  
TG: haha, i promise i wont  
TG: pinky promise, even  
EB: okay, good  
TG: now spill the tea  
TT: Fine.  
TT: Back of the bus experiences are quite common.  
TT: Experiences that one never talks about, because you have been dared to do them by your best friend.  
TG: god, sometimes i wish i hadnt dropped out to be homeschooled  
TG: that shit sounds fun  
TT: Yes, well.  
TT: All I remember is my bellybutton getting licked, Jade's toe getting sucked and June doing better at deep-throating a banana than both of the gay guys in our class.  
TT: What happens in the back of the bus stays in the back of the bus.  
TG: hahahahahha oh my god i am losing it  
GA: Er  
GA: Why  
GA: Why Was Your Bellybutton Getting Licked Rose  
TT: What happens in the back of the bus. Stays in the back of the bus.  
EB: period  
TG: and jades toe?  
GG: bluuuhhhh   
TG: hahahhahaha oh my god this is gold  
TG: hahaha okay okay okay okay i think im good hahaha oh my god no im not  
TG: im making a callout post  
TT: Ugh.  
CG: DAVE, I WILL COME TO YOUR ROOM AND SIT ON YOU IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP.  
TG: haha sorry i got it i got it  
TG: just the visual image of all that happening  
TG: god haha and this was normal for you?  
TT: We were pre-teens.  
GG: the back of the bus is a dark place, david  
TG: oh no she pulled out the full name  
TG: everyone run shes gonna get me  
GG: :P  
GA: Can We Please Get On With Movie Night Now That Roses Story Has Been Marginally Clarified  
GA: I Wish To Know What The Youtube Guy Does  
GA: And Why He Is Sucking A Banana To Begin With  
EB: jeez what are you guys even watching  
TG: idk just some rando on yt  
TG: wanna join?  
GG: sure, i don't have anything better going on  
EB: may as well  
EB: vriska went to terezi's to play that dnd troll game she likes so much  
EB: so i got some time  
CG: SOUNDS GOOD.  
CG: IT HAS BEEN A WHILE SINCE WE INVITED PEOPLE OTHER THAN, WELL.  
CG: US.  
GA: The Last Time We Invited Someone Was Dirk  
CG: THAT WAS FUN, HONESTLY.  
CG: WE SHOULD INVITE HIM AGAIN SOMETIME.  
GA: Yes I Agree  
GA: He Is A Bit Socially Awkward But He Is Fun Nonetheless  
CG: ANYWAY, IF YOU GUYS ARE DONE, I CAN UNPAUSE THE VIDEO.  
CG: JUNE, JADE, ARE YOU TWO SET UP?  
GG: yes!! im viewing the stream now  
EB: yes im here!!!!!!!!  
CG: GREAT.  
CG: THEN LET'S SEE WHAT THIS GUY DOES NEXT.   
  
[video has been unpaused]

**Author's Note:**

> https://mobile.twitter.com/garyc0re


End file.
